Orson Welles once said, “We’re born alone, we live alone.  Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” 

I could not disagree more.  Going through three home births, I definitively know we are not born alone. The babies were as much a part of our lives before the birth as after. My wife would tell me she would knew the personalities of the babies before birth, not in some metaphysical way, but in an ordinary, everyday way. My oldest was always on the move, never sat still in the womb. He would kick and punch. His sleep patterns were the same. He was a deep sleeper in the womb, just like he is a deep sleeper now. We can’t even wake him up in the middle of the night. During his pregnancy, my wife would move him around because she was worried when she didn’t feel him for a long time, he was sleeping. I remember all three children’s birth distinctly. The way that the midwife would gentley pet the head as it would try to get through the birth canal. How my wife and the midwife would coach the baby, talking to it, continually communication with the baby through the whole birthing process. Both the wife and I would talk to the babies in the womb. I would read stories to them and play music. You can find these
communication techniques in ancient tribal practices … these aren’t new communication techniques we just invented. When the oldest was born, you can distinctly see in the video how he reacted to Mom’s voice. Then you can distinctly see him move his head towards me when he heard mine. It’s caught all on tape. Human beings are social creatures.  We do nothing alone. If you’ve ever been married a long time, you know you do nothing alone.  When my father in law passed away, he had the blessing or the curse to know he was dying. He was termiminally ill. When Hospice helped us in the last days, my father in law was far from alone. He was surrounded by people who loved him. His daughter and caretakers were constantly communicating with him by caressing him, talking to him, wetting his lips with a sponge and adjusting his blankets to keep him warm and comfortable. Even to the end, he was continually communicating to especially his daughter with very small and subtle facial moments at appropriate times. Up to the moment of his last breath, he never felt alone. We are social creatures. We don’t function well alone. While I've focused primarily on the majors, entering and exiting life, we are not alone during the in between, either. Love and friendship are not an illusion. We need to connect. We need each other. Don't let someone you love feel alone. Communicate. Connect.