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Success: Eliminate Undesirable Limitations
- By Anthony Vultaggio
- Published 04/28/2008
- Success Defined
- Unrated
Anthony Vultaggio
Anthony Vultaggio is the author of, "Who Said That and Why You Should Care
Success requires breaking down self-imposed limitations as well as the barriers taught to us by others. I read a story recently that disturbed me more than war and rising oil prices. It was about a mother who kept her son in a wheelchair for five years, convincing him that he couldn’t walk. How and why did she do that? I don’t know that we can answer that.
She succeeded in convincing him that he couldn’t walk by repeatedly telling him that lie from the time he was three years old. Sadly, we all eventually believe what others tell us, especially if we love and trust them. At the age of three who do we believe and trust more than our parents, more specifically our mothers?
She endeavored to succeed at this twisted ruse because she feared him leaving her. She didn’t want to lose him so she taught him total dependence. While this is an extreme example, many parents do this to their kids to a lesser degree.
“You can’t be this, you can’t reach this, you can’t become that …”
What are the “can’ts” your parents repeatedly taught you. If you’re a parent, what “can’ts”are you passing on to your kids?
Your “can’ts” may not be as severe the example, but do they lead to any less of a tragedy? Is it any less tragic to tell a child they can’t be a baseball player in the major leagues; or they are stupid and will never make good grades; or that they will never amount to anything?
To help our children succeed we need to evaluate who we are really protecting: them or ourselves. You can’t keep your kids from falling and getting hurt, falling is as much a part of learning to walk as walking. In fact, its more important in life to learn to get up from a fall then it is to learn anything else.
The way to teach kids about how to handle disappointment is not to shelter them from disappointment, but to put them in situations where disappointments might occur, then talk them through it when it does. Give them the tools to work through the problems – this is the greatest gift one can give to a child.
A happy childhood is not just a childhood devoid of falls, bumps and bruises but a childhood with plentiful hugs, love and acceptance.
In life, it’s the fear of disappointments that prevents people from trying; but its in trying were we learn what is possible. The greatest crime is to stunt a child’s development. What mental wheelchair were you placed in? What are you doing to stop your kids? Figure this out fast and put a stop to it. Make your life a success and always encourage others to do the same.
She succeeded in convincing him that he couldn’t walk by repeatedly telling him that lie from the time he was three years old. Sadly, we all eventually believe what others tell us, especially if we love and trust them. At the age of three who do we believe and trust more than our parents, more specifically our mothers?
She endeavored to succeed at this twisted ruse because she feared him leaving her. She didn’t want to lose him so she taught him total dependence. While this is an extreme example, many parents do this to their kids to a lesser degree.
“You can’t be this, you can’t reach this, you can’t become that …”
What are the “can’ts” your parents repeatedly taught you. If you’re a parent, what “can’ts”are you passing on to your kids?
Your “can’ts” may not be as severe the example, but do they lead to any less of a tragedy? Is it any less tragic to tell a child they can’t be a baseball player in the major leagues; or they are stupid and will never make good grades; or that they will never amount to anything?
To help our children succeed we need to evaluate who we are really protecting: them or ourselves. You can’t keep your kids from falling and getting hurt, falling is as much a part of learning to walk as walking. In fact, its more important in life to learn to get up from a fall then it is to learn anything else.
The way to teach kids about how to handle disappointment is not to shelter them from disappointment, but to put them in situations where disappointments might occur, then talk them through it when it does. Give them the tools to work through the problems – this is the greatest gift one can give to a child.
A happy childhood is not just a childhood devoid of falls, bumps and bruises but a childhood with plentiful hugs, love and acceptance.
In life, it’s the fear of disappointments that prevents people from trying; but its in trying were we learn what is possible. The greatest crime is to stunt a child’s development. What mental wheelchair were you placed in? What are you doing to stop your kids? Figure this out fast and put a stop to it. Make your life a success and always encourage others to do the same.
