Can it be done?

Is it really possible for mothering to exist without nagging?

After parenting for over 27 years, my answer to this question is: (drum roll please)

It depends who you ask.

My children will tell you they've certainly experienced nagging in our home. And they're right.

However, I can tell you that you can absolutely change the amount of nagging in your home. And in some cases, literally overnight.

The way to decrease parental nagging is to be aware of its causes. In a nutshell, here are two of the biggest culprits.

-- Kids not obeying.
Nothing will fuel the fires of nagging faster than a child who is not obeying. Once a child grows beyond infancy and a personality begins to bloom, the issue of obedience will raise its head.

And rightly so.

We human beings are hard wired to develop into capable productive adults by learning how to steer our own ships. We do that most effectively when someone (our parents) first SHOWS us how to guide our ships and then, little by little, hand that responsibility over to us. That process takes a long time, usually about 20 years, give or take a few years.

If this process is interrupted, or worse, not even started, it can and does cause years of stressful family living. Trust me. Stressful family living equals LOTS of nagging.

It has been often noted that parenting does not come with a manual. Thankfully, there is no shortage of experience available to the conscientious mother. Parenting books and courses, mentoring from other moms who have been there, done that, and simply trying out different and sensible ideas can take us a long ways towards developing a stable, firm homelife for our precious kids.

A homelife where kids are eager to obey, overall, because they feel safe, secure and accepted.

-- Daily life.
Daily life contributes greatly to a mom's nagging. Your kids can be doing everything right, forget to do one thing, and BAM, Mom the Nag Machine swoops down and nails everyone.

From the child's perspective, mom has lost it. He did his part. From mom's perspective...

* the boss yelled at her that day.
* it's 5.00 and she doesn't know what's for dinner (again).
* the car broke down on the way home.
* the house is a mess (again).
* a husband forgot an anniversary (again).
* the numbers on the scale went up, not down.
* an unexpected bill arrived in the mail.
* the baby cried all night and mom got very little sleep (again).
* one of many, many other scenarios that can rob a mother of calm.

Just pick one of the above and Mom can easily turn into a Nag. After all, she's only human. In this scenario, it's up to Mom the Parent to tame the regular, normal, everyday stresses that can come between her and her family.

There are many excellent ways to do this. From menu-planning and budget tools to mentoring and communication skills, an adult woman has all the resources she needs at her disposal to get her life off the chaotic track and instill peace into her daily life.

The result of finding effective solutions to both of these stresses is more enjoyable mothering and less overall nagging.

Sounds good, doesn't it?