Working with the men and women who have made this world a better place
for so many of us is one of the most rewarding experiences a person
could ever have. Some call them elderly, some call them seniors; I call
them the people with the wisdom and real life experiences. I even
sometimes call them mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and great grand-parents.
Becoming elder in society does not change one's ability to love, to
desire companionship, to feel needed, to want to be apart of the world in which we all live. Unfortunately sometimes others see the vulnerabilities of another human
being as a weakness to be preyed upon.
A few months ago I met a very kind, intelligent gentleman who I'll call "Carl." Here is his story.
Carl had worked as an
engineer in his younger days. After his wife died he found it difficult to cope with living alone. After a back injury he found himself in need of a caregiver. He found what he thought was a wonderful woman to lovingly care for him.
During the four years that this young lady cared for him this
gentle man went through four back surgeries. he also became enamored with his caregiver because she was
the only female who was showing him love and affection. Carl fell in
love with his caregiver; Carl’s caregiver fell in love with Carl’s
generosity.
When Carl’s insurance company employed my company to assume the oversight of Carl’s daily care, I had to make an in-home visit, Carl
spoke very highly of his caregiver and requested that I hire her on to
continue working for him. However in the process of interviewing Carl’s
caregiver it became quite evident that she was
apprehensive about being hired by a legitimate company. That's truth began to unravel.
Carl who is now seventy-nine and confined to a wheel chair was
hopelessly in love with his thirty five year old caregiver. She did not
feel the same way about him. Attracted to the glitter of that which was not hers she used his feelings to obtain over one
hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars in loan money from Carl in addition to
her regular salary. When she realized what we knew she walked away.
During my visit with Carl last week I sat and listened as he spoke. I looked into his
eyes as he cried and declared how in love and in agony he was. Though he understood what she'd done, it didn't mitigate the pain that permeated his entire being.
I believe in love. I love to see lovers in love; the young lovers and
the not-so-young lovers. Witnessing the love
that says “I LOVE YOU, I love you just the way you are" brings me great joy. It pains me to see the kind of false love that’s based on material
gains. I despise the selfish love that seeks its own pleasure.
It has been a couple of months since Carl’s caregiver took his money. Sadly, its the other things she took that have greater consequence. She took Carl’s love, his faith, his hope, his joy and
his peace. She took happiness and trust away from him. Time will only tell how he will recover from this experience.
Some would say it is better to have loved, and lost, then never to have loved at all. But seeing Carl's pain I'd say that statement is simply not true. My father always
said that what goes around comes around. I wonder if Carl’s caregiver will recognize her pay
back when it comes her way.
When you love, love purely. Be a person who contributes to the betterment of the world you live in. Love others openly and honestly. Say I love you, when you really do. And leave each life you touch a little better for your presence.