“How can a person strive for success and excellence while simultaneously trying to be content?  If you’re content, where is the motivation to achieve more?  But if you’re always trying to better your life, then how can you be content?”

The Harvard MBA says:

The question of contentment vs. ambition is one of the fundamental questions that most of us face.

I have friends who are never content and are always paranoid, and whose self-inflicted misery makes them extremely successful and productive workaholics.

I was chatting with one of them yesterday; I asked him what he had planned for the weekend, and he replied that he was probably going to be working.  “I’m doing a consulting job for a friend, and I’m not satisfied with my report, so I’m going to work hard this weekend to bring it up to my standards.”

This is the sort of fellow many have in mind when they wonder if contentment will blunt their edge.  According to this mindset, motivation is like hunger.  The drive to strive for success and excellence results from the gulf between desires and reality.

The logical corollary to this is exactly what you imply with your question–if I’m happy with what I have, and there is no gulf, will I still be motivated to succeed and excel?

As I mentioned before, there are people for whom this is true.  I spent many long hours trying to convince my friend that being happy wouldn’t destroy his productivity, but I’ve since given up.  Being a pessimist is part of his fundamental character, and if he didn’t feel his constant misery and worry, he’d become disoriented and, ironically enough, unhappy (albeit in a different way).

But for most of us, motivation is intrinisic, rather than extrinsic.  We don’t strive for success and excellence because we’re dissatisfied with what we have; we strive because it is human nature to do so.

Mihály Csíkszentmihályi’s work on flow shows that one of the most important motivations we have is the desire to experience that mental state.

“Flow is the mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.”

In many ways, flow is a prerequisite of success; how often have you done great work without the feeling of being “in the zone” or “in the groove”?

More importantly, whether you are content or not is irrelevant to your desire for flow.  Flow can only occur when you act; you must strive in order for it to occur.  Striving is not a negative which we only perform because of discontentment with our lot in life; it is a positive action we seek out in our pursuit of flow and meaning.

In case you’re still not sure, you should check out the work of Edward Deci.  In his book, “Why We Do What We Do“, he cites research into intrinisic and extrinsic aspirations.

The extrinsic aspirations are the ones we classically associate with success and excellence: To be wealthy, famous, and good-looking.

The intrinsic aspirations, in contrast, are less flashy: Having satisfying personal relationships, contributing to your community, growing as an individual.

Extrinsic aspirations look outward; the depend on others, and the self-esteem they produce is contingent.  The instant they go away, so does any self-worth they’ve brought.

In contrast, intrinsic aspirations provide their own reward, and satisfy our deep down needs for competence, autonomy, and relatedness.

Most damning of all, the research showed that those who focused on extrinisic aspirations were less happy, even when they achieved their aspirations.  Any glance at Us Weekly will quickly convince you of the truth of this research.

So if you can, stop using your desire for success as a motivator; focus instead on your intrinsic aspirations and your innate need for flow.

But if you’re like my unhappy friend, don’t despair.  Contentment won’t blunt your edge, because the research shows that even if you achieve success beyond your wildest dreams, you’ll likely never be content!